Keeping children involved at the seder

The seder was designed around children asking questions. A little packing before you travel makes it far easier, especially at a program where the night starts late and the room is full.

The night is built for them

The Torah frames the whole evening as an answer to a child: וְהִגַּדְתָּ לְבִנְךָ בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא, "you shall tell your child on that day" (שְׁמוֹת י״ג:ח׳, Shemot 13:8). The Mishnah puts the question first: after the second cup is poured, וְכָאן הַבֵּן שׁוֹאֵל אָבִיו, "here the child asks his father" (מִשְׁנָה פְּסָחִים י׳:ד׳, Mishnah Pesachim 10:4).

Keeping children awake with treats and surprises is not a modern gimmick. The Gemara records that Rabbi Akiva handed out roasted grain and nuts to the children on the eve of Pesach, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִשְׁנוּ וְיִשְׁאֲלוּ, "so that they would not fall asleep, and would ask", and Rabbi Eliezer taught that the matzah is grabbed on the nights of Pesach for the children’s sake, בִּשְׁבִיל תִּינוֹקוֹת שֶׁלֹּא יִשְׁנוּ, "so that they will not sleep" (פְּסָחִים ק״ט ע״א, Pesachim 109a).

So the frogs and the masks have a long pedigree. They are there to start questions, and the questions are the mitzvah.

What to buy and pack before you travel

Hotel gift shops do not sell jumping frogs, and nothing can be bought once Yom Tov starts. Everything here fits in one zip bag in a suitcase.

A bag of makotOne small prop for each of the ten. Ready-made "plague bags" and sets of makot masks or hats are sold before Pesach and cover most of it. The list further down says what goes with which makah.
Something to wearA headscarf and a stick for Moshe, a paper crown for Pharaoh, a sack or pillowcase to carry "out of Egypt" on a shoulder.
A children’s HaggadahOne each, with pictures, for children who cannot yet follow the adult one. Older children like having the same Haggadah as the adults.
Afikoman bags and prizesA cloth bag for each child who will hide or hunt, and a small wrapped prize for each. Agree the "ransom" rules before the night.
Question cardsWrite or print them at home before Yom Tov: one question per card, easy ones and hard ones. A child who answers keeps the card.
Walnuts or tokensA pocketful to hand out for every good question. This is the oldest trick in the book; see the Gemara quoted below.
Seder bingo, made aheadCards with pictures of things that happen in the seder. Cover the squares with tokens, not pens.
A quiet bag for the youngestBoard books, soft toys and a blanket, for the long telling of the story, when a three-year-old has had enough.

A prop for each of the ten makot

Hand them out one at a time as each makah is read, not all at once at the start.

01Blood דָּםA sheet of red cellophane to hold over a clear cup of water.
02Frogs צְפַרְדֵּעַPlastic jumping frogs, hidden around the table before the meal.
03Lice כִּנִּיםTiny black pom-poms sprinkled on the table. Everyone scratches.
04Wild animals עָרוֹבAnimal masks or finger puppets, one for each child.
05Pestilence דֶּבֶרA few toy farm animals to tip over on their sides.
06Boils שְׁחִיןRed pom-poms to balance on arms and noses.
07Hail בָּרָדPing-pong balls or cotton balls to toss gently down the table.
08Locusts אַרְבֶּהPlastic grasshoppers, or clicking fingers for the sound of the swarm.
09Darkness חֹשֶׁךְSleep masks or sunglasses. Try to pass the matzah without looking.
10The firstborn מַכַּת בְּכוֹרוֹתNo toy for this one. A pause and a quiet voice say more.

Ten games that need no pens and no batteries

01A walnut for a questionAny child who asks a real question about what is happening gets a walnut or a token. Count them at the end. The point of the night is the asking.
02I left Egypt and I took...Go round the table. Each person repeats the whole list so far and adds one thing. It gets silly fast, which is fine.
03Who am I?One person is somebody from the story (Miriam, Pharaoh, a frog, the sea). Everyone else asks yes-or-no questions until they guess.
04Act it outGive each child a makah, or a scene, and thirty seconds to act it without words while the table guesses.
05Pass it in the darkFor חֹשֶׁךְ (darkness), everyone closes their eyes or puts on a sleep mask and passes a piece of matzah round the table without dropping it.
06Spot the changeDuring a quiet part, an adult changes one thing on the seder plate. First child to notice wins.
07Four children, four voicesRead the four sons in four voices, one child each. Then ask which kind of asker each person at the table was this year.
08The longest DayenuSing דַּיֵּנוּ (Dayenu) faster each verse, or pass a soft toy and whoever holds it when the verse ends leads the next one.
09Afikoman, with a twistHide it twice: once by the adults for the children, once by the children for the adults. Set the boundaries first, especially in a hotel.
10Stump the grown-upsOlder children prepare three hard questions each before Yom Tov and try them on the adults.

At a Pesach program

Ask how the seder is run. Some programs hold one communal seder led from the front, some give each family its own table or a private room, and many offer both. With young children, your own table lets you set the pace. The guide to programs with children lists what to ask.
Ask about a children’s seder. Some day camps run a short model seder in the afternoon, which helps children know what is coming.
Plan for a late start. In 2027 the first seder is on Wednesday night, April 21, and outside Israel the second is on Thursday night, April 22. The seder cannot begin before nightfall, which in late April is late in most places. An afternoon sleep matters more than anything in the bag.
Feed them first. A proper children’s supper in the late afternoon means nobody is waiting two hours for the meal.
Sit near a door. In a ballroom, a table by the exit lets you take a child out and back without a scene.
Agree the afikoman rules. In a hotel, say exactly where it may be hidden: your table and your chairs, not the lobby.

By age

Under four: מַה נִּשְׁתַּנָּה (Mah Nishtanah) practiced at home, a frog to hold, and permission to fall asleep on two chairs.
Four to eight: the props, the acting and the afikoman. This is the age the bag is for.
Nine to twelve: give them a job. One section to read or explain, the question cards to run, the walnuts to hand out.
Teenagers: ask them before Yom Tov to prepare one idea on the Haggadah and one hard question for the adults. Let them lead a section.

A few cautions

Yom Tov. Prepare everything before the holiday. Leave out anything with batteries, lights or sound, and anything that involves writing, coloring, cutting or sticking. If you are unsure about a particular prop or game, ask your rav before you pack it.
Food props. Anything edible at the table has to be kosher for Pesach. Check sweets and marshmallows with the same care as the rest of your food, or keep the props inedible.
Small parts. Tiny frogs, pom-poms and ping-pong balls are not for children under three.
The other tables. In a shared dining room, keep flying hail on your own table.

This page gives ideas, not halachic rulings. The Hebrew texts are quoted from the standard editions; chapter and page numbers are given so you can look them up.

The story

Why we travel all this way to sit at a table

Wherever the program is, the night is the same one. Five moments to tell the children on the way there.

01 · Shemot 2:3A basket in the reedsA mother hides her baby on the Nile, and his sister keeps watch from the bank.
02 · Shemot 3:2The bush that did not burn upA shepherd turns aside to look, and is sent back to Egypt.
03 · Shemot 5:1Let my people goTwo brothers stand before Pharaoh, and the makot begin.
04 · Shemot 14:22Through the sea on dry landThe water stands like a wall on the right and on the left.
05 · Shemot 12:39Matzah, in a hurryThe dough had no time to rise, and that is the bread on the table tonight.